‘Hell > Wood Green’ (anon. ,Facebook status update, 2011)
I suppose if you believe Hell is an actual place, it must indeed be greater than Wood Green, which is relatively small, and prison to fewer damned souls.
That said, it’s easy to see why, in non-mathematical parlance, you might consider Hell the better location. I guess it depends what you’re in for, but it’s certainly easier to get to on a Friday night in rush hour.
We visited (Wood Green, that is) in order to eat at Vrisaki, a Greek restaurant far closer to Elysium than Hades. It’s a bustling dining room behind a regular kebab joint, full of Greeks and Greek waiters, dressed up in ties and suits and generally making everything feel old-fashioned and no-nonsense.
All four of us ordered the set meze, which at £38 for two people, promised an awful lot. And it largely delivered, with large being the operative syllable. The quantities of food at Vrisaki are staggering. Our starter platter included more dishes than I can remember, but certainly lentils, beans, tuna, taramasalata, hummus, pitta, beetroot, olives, tsatziki, potato, assorted salads and pickled shellfish. And while it’s true that food is about quality, not quantity, it’s also about quantity.
In any event, the quality was pretty good too, especially those dishes that you felt hadn’t come out of large vats or jars. Copious Aphrodite (a wine) was cheap and flirty, helping to smooth out the rougher edges of the food.
Next came a fish, ham, halloumi and veg course, featuring excellent asparagus, decent prawns, and smoked salmon presented in the style of a 1970s Sheffield cocktail party. Piping hot, gigantic garlic mushrooms were hearty, while deep-fried calamari limped a little. Ham and halloumi was pretty awful, to be honest – salty to the point of inedibility. Copious Aphrodite (a wine) was cheap and flirty, helping to smooth out the rougher edges of the food.
By this stage, I couldn’t tell you which course we were on (I don’t think they all have names, and this was at least our fourth new set of plates at the table), but whole trout followed, firm and flavourful, accompanied by more prawns, butterflied and grilled. Copious Aphrodite (a wine) was cheap and flirty, helping to smooth out the rougher edges of the food.
And then on, unabashed, to some meat: about six whole quail in a salty, slightly spicy rub, and some absolutely fantastic sausages, herby (mint and sage, at a guess) and juicy and great. Oh, and a tomato and feta salad, for some reason. Copious Aphrodite (a wine) was cheap and flirty, helping to smooth out the rougher edges of the food.
I suppose if you believe Hell is an actual place, it must indeed be greater than Wood Green, which is relatively small, and prison to fewer damned souls.
That said, it’s easy to see why, in non-mathematical parlance, you might consider Hell the better location. I guess it depends what you’re in for, but it’s certainly easier to get to on a Friday night in rush hour.
We visited (Wood Green, that is) in order to eat at Vrisaki, a Greek restaurant far closer to Elysium than Hades. It’s a bustling dining room behind a regular kebab joint, full of Greeks and Greek waiters, dressed up in ties and suits and generally making everything feel old-fashioned and no-nonsense.
All four of us ordered the set meze, which at £38 for two people, promised an awful lot. And it largely delivered, with large being the operative syllable. The quantities of food at Vrisaki are staggering. Our starter platter included more dishes than I can remember, but certainly lentils, beans, tuna, taramasalata, hummus, pitta, beetroot, olives, tsatziki, potato, assorted salads and pickled shellfish. And while it’s true that food is about quality, not quantity, it’s also about quantity.
In any event, the quality was pretty good too, especially those dishes that you felt hadn’t come out of large vats or jars. Copious Aphrodite (a wine) was cheap and flirty, helping to smooth out the rougher edges of the food.
Next came a fish, ham, halloumi and veg course, featuring excellent asparagus, decent prawns, and smoked salmon presented in the style of a 1970s Sheffield cocktail party. Piping hot, gigantic garlic mushrooms were hearty, while deep-fried calamari limped a little. Ham and halloumi was pretty awful, to be honest – salty to the point of inedibility. Copious Aphrodite (a wine) was cheap and flirty, helping to smooth out the rougher edges of the food.
By this stage, I couldn’t tell you which course we were on (I don’t think they all have names, and this was at least our fourth new set of plates at the table), but whole trout followed, firm and flavourful, accompanied by more prawns, butterflied and grilled. Copious Aphrodite (a wine) was cheap and flirty, helping to smooth out the rougher edges of the food.
And then on, unabashed, to some meat: about six whole quail in a salty, slightly spicy rub, and some absolutely fantastic sausages, herby (mint and sage, at a guess) and juicy and great. Oh, and a tomato and feta salad, for some reason. Copious Aphrodite (a wine) was cheap and flirty, helping to smooth out the rougher edges of the food.
A glass of metaxa and a coffee finished the meal off perfectly, and if Wood Green is Hell, well then I’m Beelzebub.
Phil Letts’ take: 6/10
Vrisaki is a favourite of mine - hardly haute cuisine but reassuringly consistent over the years. It is a pain getting to Bounds Green though. Have you tried Lemonia in Primrose Hill? It is a more upmarket meze and the restaurant is much finer. It was very educational trying all those Greek wines, they were actually quite good!
ReplyDeleteLuiz @ The London Foodie
Hi Luiz. Thanks for the recommendation. I don't know many good Greek places, so I'll certainly give Lemonia a try.
ReplyDelete